Swimming Lessons

Posted in: Featured on Friday, January 31st, 2014

Of course I know how to swim. I can’t remember learning to but apparently I did and I used to be very good at it. My Mum to this day still laments that I didn’t take my swimming as far as it could go i.e. Nationals followed by the Olympics followed by International glory and gold.  She says “My darling first born, my favourite (She never actually said this part but it’s implied), It’s such a shame you didn’t do anything with your swimming. You had such a beautiful stroke” to which I reply “Yes Mum, but those shoulders!”. Those of you who watch the swimming on TV will know what I mean.

Image Source: http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/queensland/cool-pools-for-hot-days-20121026-289g8.html

My local swimming pool looking peaceful before the screaming horde descends.

These days I don’t swim often but when I do it’s in the final days of summer school holidays. That special time of the year when on reflection the pool is probably 75% pee and the shrieks of 100+ children drown out all thought.  It’s during trips to the pool like these that you learn a few swimming lessons;

  • Don’t jump into the pool from the safety railing!
  • No running!
  • Lifeguards are rarely as hot as the television would have you believe.
  • Children have no concept of personal space in a swimming pool. They’ll elbow you, knee you, kick you in the head, the legs, the arms and if you’re really lucky in the face too. And keep swimming like nothing happened. If the children are our future, then the future looks dangerous.
  • Kids never want to get out of the pool. This usually results in parents yelling and threatening and begging at the edge. The smart parents, the battle hardened ones, the ones with that look in their eyes that says they’ve seen some shit and come out the other side changed people, just pack their stuff and go. If little Henry wants a ride home, three square meals and his beloved video games he’ll be out of the pool quick smart. Must remember this technique.
  • Children can go down a water slide over 50 times and still come out shrieking with laughter and wanting to go again. They have boundless energy and can indulge in simple pleasures for hours without a care in the world.
  • Every other kid in the pool is a new friend. There are no barriers in a child’s world, no judgement, just acceptance and a general ‘lets go have fun together’ joie de vivre.
  • This one is for all the teenage girls and young Mums out there, a less than perfect figure is made so much better by standing up straight. Yes it’s happening, i’m turning into my mother, stand up straight girls, shoulders back, stomach in and boobs out!

You can learn a lot from a trip to the pool and all of the above are great lessons. But** I think the most important lesson of all is that we grown ups, who think we have it all figured out and think we know how the world works, can learn a lot from children. We should laugh more, judge less, find excitement in simple things, treat everyone like they’re new friends waiting to be made and most importantly don’t worry about tomorrow because there’s too much fun to be had today.

*Banner Image Source: http://manlypoolbrisbane.com.au/

*Blog Image Source: http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/queensland/cool-pools-for-hot-days-20121026-289g8.html

** Yes I can start a sentence with a conjunction, Oxford Dictionaries says so here


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